Dangerous Dancing

Audrey Smith went to the loo in Starbucks for the third time in twenty minutes. Why, oh why had she set off so early? She looked at her watch. Still at least ten minutes before her class started. She peeked into her carrier bag and couldn’t help smiling. Her gold high heeled sandals were a huge extravagance but they fitted like gloves and were as light as a feather on her feet. She had been so tempted by the floaty grey chiffon dress in Jenners Sale but now that she was paying for a private lesson, she couldn’t afford it. Audrey tried unsuccessfully to quell the butterflies in her stomach. She had only seen a photo of Rodrigo the star tango performer, in which he looked every inch a South American aristocrat. Tall, dark and with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
Audrey had recently taken up the Argentine Tango. It was so many years since she had gone out dancing that she didn’t want to make a fool of herself at a disco or club. Also she wanted to dance with someone. One evening her friend, Jill, had brought round that video – “Take the Lead” with Antonio Banderas. Audrey watched spellbound as Antonio demonstrated a breathtakingly sexy tango with a beautiful tall blonde.
For the next few weeks, Audrey had been unable to get the image of the two strutting, entwining, embracing dancers out of her head. She began tossing her head in a contemptuous way every time she passed the bathroom mirror, wishing that she was taller, slimmer and blonder. She started listening to Tango Radio and would sway and strut across her tiny sittingroom. It was when she was clicking on Tango Radio that she came across a link to The Galashiels Tango Society. In Galashiels? Audrey could not believe it. But, yes and there was a list of classes – including one that was free! So, shaking like a leaf and wondering what she was thinking of, Audrey found herself in Galashiels Community Hall waiting for the free class to begin.
There were about a dozen other people there.
“Is this your first time?” Another middle aged woman smiled at Audrey and bent to fasten the straps on her high heels.
Audrey nodded. “I must be mad,” she said. The woman straightened up and held out her hand.
“I’m Maisie. I’ve only been coming a few weeks. Don’t worry about them, they’re from the local ballet class and they’re just showing off.” Audrey sighed with relief as she had just seen two tall teenage girls doing various professional looking calf and ankle stretching exercises in a corner of the room. She was surprised at the number of young men attending. None of them looked like candidates for the tango but then, she thought ruefully catching sight of herself in the glass window, neither did she. Maisie was nudging her.
“Here comes teacher!” Audrey looked up eagerly as a short, plump man in black t-shirt and trousers strode into the room. The teenagers flurried towards him and a couple of the young men greeted him with a high five.
“Right, welcome everyone. I’m Edward. I take this class every Friday. It’s free and you can come back as often as you want. Anybody new, this week?”
Blushing furiously, Audrey raised her hand. A couple of other people also shuffled their feet and admitted their own inexperience.
“Right, into a circle and we’ll begin. Don’t worry about partners just now, I’ll do a wee demo and then you can try a few steps. Tango is really about walking. If you can walk forwards, backwards and sideways you can dance tango.” As he spoke, Edward demonstrated. Yes, he was walking but with such proud posture, poise and confidence that Audrey could have sworn that he lost about half a stone in front of her very eyes.
“Now, then get into pairs. Decide who is going to lead and who is going to be a follower. Before she had time to be anxious, Maisie had grabbed her by the hand and whispered in her ear.
“I’ll lead since it’s your first time. Some weeks there are lots of men, other times we girlies have to dance with each other. Put your hands up on my shoulders. That’s right.” Audrey couldn’t decide whether to be glad that she didn’t have to get really close to Maisie or to be disappointed that they were not practising the lovely tango embrace. The first chords of the music boomed into the room and suddenly they were all on the move. Maisie was surprisingly confident and propelled Audrey expertly round the room, avoiding the shufflers and the completely dead stopped couples. Then the music ended and Edward instructed the followers to move round one place in the circle. Audrey found herself opposite a bespectacled blonde young man with a bemused expression.
“Bit stressful this, isn’t it? I’m Jay.”
When the music started Jay wiggled from side to side for several minutes before lunging forward so suddenly that Audrey had to whisk her right foot away before he trod on it, nearly falling over as she retreated. This did not put Jay off at all and he lunged round the room with Audrey holding on for dear life and saying “sorry” and “so sorry” every time Jay backed her into one of the other couples.
At the end of the hour, after a variety of partners of varied ability and skill, Audrey was breathless and thrilled. She loved the music, the swish of soles on the floor, the seriousness of the whole thing. Maisie bounced up to her.
“Are you staying for the milonga party - you’ll get to meet the real tango dancers – great fun.” Audrey noticed that the room was filling up with chattering people. If the class had been house sparrows, these dancers arriving for the milonga were like birds of paradise. The women all wore glittery strappy sandals and low cut, backless dresses, while the men were in black tops and bottoms or well tailored black suits with spanking white shirts. They greeted each other with kisses on both cheeks and as the volume of the music increased took to the floor with glamour and glee. All at once the chattering and laughing stilled. The men drew themselves up beyond their height, the women leant in towards them, head slightly bent. As each couple began to dance Audrey felt as though she had glimpsed something terribly intimate, daring, glamorous and dangerous. Suddenly, she needed to get some fresh air, grabbed her coat and bag and ran out to the street. On the bus home, she kept her head down, scared that people would notice the turmoil that raged inside her.
“Jill, it was wonderful – I felt as though I had been reborn!” Jill stirred her coffee and raised her eyebrows at her normally level headed friend.
“You liked it then?” Three cups of coffee later, Jill knew most of the finer points of tango and was wondering if Audrey had taken to alcohol as well as dance.
Certainly Audrey was floating. She took the bus up to Edinburgh and ransacked the music library for every tape or video of Argentine tango in stock. She could hardly wait until the next Friday. A few weeks later she still hadn’t plucked up the courage to stay for more than the first few minutes of the milonga. She had heard a tango dancer saying that as soon as you started a dance with someone new, you knew immediately if it was going to be a good tango. Audrey couldn’t bear the thought of not being good enough.
One evening there was a particular buzz at the class. Maisie rushed over almost too excited to get the words out.
“Rodrigo Perez is going to be in Galashiels next week – I can’t wait to book my lesson. He is so-oo gorgeous. They say that dancing with him is,” Maisie lowered her eyes and her voice and whispered:”orgasmic”. Maisie thrust a leaflet into Audrey’s hands and with shining eyes sank down on a chair.
Audrey perused the leaflet. She had to get a lesson with this man. From the photograph on the cover his eyes seemed to bore into her. He would be the one that helped her go from moderate tango dancer to someone sexy, glamorous and dangerous.
And now here she was at the private studio, her trembling hands struggling to do up her new shoes. She smoothed down her black skirt and ran her hands carefully over her newly done hair. The door opened. Audrey looked up.
“Hi, Audrey. Good to see you. I’ll just get us a glass of water.” Audrey frowned. What was Edward doing here? Edward returned with two large pint glasses of iced water. He clicked on his laptop and the sound of tango filled the studio. Edward held out his arms to Audrey.
“Em,, Edward, I’ve booked a lesson with Rodrigo........” Edward’s arms fell to his side and he let out a despairing sigh.
“Oh, God. This is the third time I have had to do this today. Rodrigo isn’t coming. He has had to fill in for another dancer in a big show in London.. I’m having to take his lessons for him. It’s not doing my ego any good, I can tell you. One woman stopped half way through the lesson and one of them flatly refused to even start. I wouldn’t have minded so much, but I’m not even charging for these lessons.” Edward looked so dismayed and unlike his usual confident self that Audrey pulled herself together.
“Let’s start then, shall we?”
Edward smiled like a man reprieved from execution and the lesson began.
“Right, first the embrace. I need to know that you are there, really there and with me. Put your arm right round so it is touching my back just above my shoulder blades. Good. Other hand in a loose hand clasp. Okay, so close at the left side and open at the right. A bit closer. Perfect.”
And it was. Audrey had never felt so safe. She knew immediately that Edward would steer her into safe waters. The more they danced the more her confidence grew until she was pivoting and doing oches as well as those beautiful girls at the Milonga. The hour went far too quickly and Audrey could hardly bear to stop for a long cold drink after each set. Dancing with Edward was just like that comforting feeling when you get your pillow and your duvet curled around you so no draughts can get through. As the lesson progressed Edward made his steps bolder and more complex and to her delight Audrey was able to follow him perfectly. Each time she succeeded at a new pattern, Edward murmured into her hair, “Well done, Audrey, good, perfect.” He smelt of soap and ironed shirt. Audrey could feel his muscles through the cloth on his shoulders. When she glanced at his face it had on it the most lovely, slightly melancholy expression which enobled his ordinary face.
It was over. They were drinking the last few drops of water. Audrey’s eyes were sparkling and she felt more alive than she had for years.
Edward put his glass down and frowned at her. “You know, Audrey, you have no idea what it is like to dance with a real woman. These young girls, they think so much about how they look on the outside that they never make contact with the heart of the tango. Then as soon as they think they have mastered the steps they fly off and dance with their young men but their tangos have no soul. Audrey, I know that I am not Rodrigo. I’m Edward Macdonald from Galashiels. Despite that, do you think you would consider coming as my partner to the Winter Tango Ball? You see, I’ve been hoping that you might stay for one of the Friday night milongas but you never did.................”
Audrey looked at the floor. She had not thought she could possibly compete with all those pretty young things. She didn’t like to think how much her imagination had run away with her when she was fantasising about Rodrigo when all the time, her perfect partner was right here.
Edward sighed and moved to put on his jacket.“No, I didn’t think........”
Audrey took his hand. “This Winter Tango Ball – would a floaty grey chiffon dress be a suitable outfit?” 

MA Creative Writing Edinburgh Napier University

Yahoo! Have finally started at Napier with 23 other writing geniuses! The campus is beautiful, set on a hill above Edinburgh with lawns and woodland and walks and incredible views to the sea. Our course directors and the Reader in Residence have tried manfully to get us tired and emotional at their own expense and I have had the one and only free lunch that I will get all year. This merely by attending a workshop where I met publishing, journalism, creative advertising and interdisciplinary design students. We had to mingle and learn how to set useful goals. Our poster was the best.

I have resuscitated this blog because my website was lost when Freeserve became Orange and I keep being asked where people can see my stuff..................so here goes. I will put up pieces of work here from time to time. Feel free to email me with any constructive comments. Use the email address at the top of the page.

Speak to you soon!
Alison